Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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