On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Randomize
