puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
