How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
