If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
