FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Randomize