You're so nebulous sometimes
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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