Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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