I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
