I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
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