It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
