he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
