I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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