she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
