so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
