Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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