If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
