his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
We're too hungover to prance.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
