Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
