I hate your face
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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