I think scott just propositioned me for sex
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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