My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
