I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
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