i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
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