If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Randomize
