A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
