she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
