so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
