just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
