just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
