Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
