the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Randomize
