My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I lost the right to judge tonight
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
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