he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
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