I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
