It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
