elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
