What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
