69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
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