that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
