Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
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