you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Randomize
