in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
