using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
