We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
