hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
P.S. I can't hear my feet
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
