My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
