so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
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