u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
