you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
