lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Randomize
