I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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