In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Randomize
