When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Randomize
