its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
