i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Randomize
