omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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