he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
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