She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
