The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
