i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Randomize
