I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
