You work out of a Hotel?
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
